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2022 The TRUTH behind Jack's patronising PR goodbye letter
Posted on the 6th Aug 2021 in the category sport
Pongo Waring left. Bruce Rioch left. Andy Gray left. Mark Walters left. Dwight Yorke left. Gareth Barry left. Benteke left. Fabian Delph left. Even the Villa warewolf became a Blues fan.
And now Jack Grealish has left.
Players leave football clubs, that's fine. Good luck Jack, but don't patronise us with an awful PR exercise. Whether it was his PR company or even worse, the Villa PR department, his goodbye letter is patronising pap of the highest/lowest order.
I've been a journalist for more than 20 years and have to see through PR shite for a living, whether it be politicians, the police or private companies. I don't like having to do it in my personal life.
So to save you the time, I've translated Jack's goodbye letter for you.....
I'VE BEEN AT ASTON VILLA FOR 19 YEARS AND HAVE BEEN A FAN ALL MY LIFE.
Err, how do I turn off the caps lock?
I'VE COME UP THROUGH THE RANKS AND CAPTAINED MY CLUB BACK TO THE TOP TIER OF ENGLISH FOOTBALL.
As well as helping us get relegated in the first place.
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO PUT MY FEELINGS INTO WORDS, BUT I WILL TRY.
I nicked this line from a Jessie J song I heard in Michu a few years ago.
WHEN I FIRST CAME TO VILLA I HAD MY OWN PERSONAL DREAMS AND AMBITIONS LIKE GETTING INTO THE FIRST TEAM, SCORING MY FIRST GOAL & SCORING THE WINNER IN A DERBY.
These are facts, not feelings.
IT WASN'T UNTIL WE GOT RELEGATED THAT I FELT A GREATER SENSE OF PURPOSE.
To play in the Champions League after setting my heart on a move to Spurs but they made the biggest none transfer blunder in British football.
EVERY TIME I WORE THE VILLA SHIRT I PLAYED WITH MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE.
And tiny shinpads which is why I miss loads of games a season with shinsplints.
BEING GIVEN THE CAPTAINS ARMBAND WAS BOTH A PRIVILEGE AND AN HONOUR FOR ME AND MY FAMILY AND I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT.
Except for all those dirty looks from Tyrone Mings.
I WANT TO THANK THE MANAGER AND MY TEAMMATES I'LL NEVER FORGET WHAT WE ACHIEVED TOGETHER...AND THE FANS WHO HAVE SUPPORTED ME THROUGH EVERYTHING. I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH.
Well, I could, I could stay and help us get into the Champions League in a few years time, I could be a Totti, a Shearer but I want to win stuff now. YOLO!
TO ALL MY COACHES AND PEOPLE WHO WORK BEHIND THE SCENES AT THE CLUB WHO HAVE DONE SO MUCH FOR ME OVER THE YEARS - THANK YOU.
Thanks for tipping me off when the drug tests were going to be, wink, wink!
I WILL ALWAYS BE A VILLA FAN.
Although I know supporting the team you support is nothing special, 99.99% of fans do that.
I LOVE THIS CLUB WITH ALL MY HEART AND I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND MY REASONS FOR SEEKING A NEW CHALLENGE.
I'm guessing you are all telepathic because I've not told you why in this crappy goodbye letter.
THE CLUB ARE IN GREAT HANDS.
Oooops, fire the proof reader, this should be "THE CLUB IS" not "ARE" as it's a single entity and not plural.
THE MANAGER, THE LADS, THE NEW SIGNINGS COMING IN. IT IS AN EXCITING TIME TO BE A VILLA FAN.
Not as exciting as it was a week ago when you had me as captain!
I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN SOON.
Kissing the Man City badge.
UNTIL NEXT TIME.
I patronise you.
UTV.
My new bosses wouldn't let me write SOTC.
JACK
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