As soon as I leave this Irish bar I'll be brilliant
Posted on the 28th Oct 2012 in the category sport

My first blog for the Sabotage Times about volunteering for Obama, kind of...


Well I got to America with $50 in my pocket, a desire to make the world a better place, and a reputation as an international travel journalist to destroy in two weeks.

I’ve not made it to the Nawlins Obama HQ but I have made it to a 24 hour Irish bar called Flannigans that sells cider and where I’ve lost my worthless wallet, twice.

But I’m campaigning for Obama, cos I’ve got my Brummies for Obama t-shirt on and I’m spreading the word to everyone I meet.

‘But Dude why do you care about our election……’ comes the call from a fella with a Great Dane at the bar with him.

‘Well simple’, I say, ‘I’m English and if we have an insane US President then lots of my countrymen seem to get killed.’

And sometimes that don’t work so I say: ‘Well the Mrs ain’t gonna let me come on holiday is she?’

That gets the laugh and then I explain I’m from Perry Barr in Birmingham, the home of MOTHERFUCKING HEAVY METAL, and I abhor racism, love women and hate homophobia so of course I’ve left all my responsibilities at home and come to beef my obituary up…

And then I carry on talking about myself and of course about when I was called a nigger-loving baby killer on the campaign trail and if they don’t believe me I point them to this.

‘So, are you like sabotaging the times Dude?’ they ask and I say ‘no, just read it and see.’

So I might have seen the first Irish bar and not left but I’m spreading the word. There are many ways to campaign, it is all about what feels comfortable.

Oh by the way, the barman has a book out called ‘They Have You Right Where You Want Us’ so check him out on Amazon please cos I’ve got five free Strongbow on that promise.

English friends say Romney is going to snatch it, I disagree, Romney needs to win Ohio, still can’t say it, Florida, Iowa, Colorado and Nevada. I just cant see him doing it, the maths are against him but one monumental gaffe on either side could have massive electoral consequences.

It is impossible to get away from the campaign, pick up a paper, turn on the tv, jump in a cab or listen to strangers chatting and the election will crop up within minutes.Fox News even had a segment with Bill O’Reilly interviewing a puppet about the election, the puppet did not like Obama and thought it was only right that he had to take photo ID with him to vote, but he would because he’s a Fox puppet.

New Orleans will vote Obama but Louisiana will go for Romney so after a few days helping here  I’m heading down Florida way to get involved in the dirtiest of dirty races. I mean the lawyers are there for a reason because if there are irregularities you can bet that it will be in the Sunshine State.

Today is the day I aim to get my own personalised campaign t-shirts printed – Brummies for Obama, Bad Teethed Limeys for Obama, Taser Victims for Obama, Raving Gays for Obama, Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys for Obama and Drunks Who Can No Longer Talk for Obama.

I suppose I better find somewhere to stay tonight as well.

In the words of Eddie Murphy I'm "Coming to America"
Posted on the 23rd Oct 2012 in the category sport

The word hectic could have been invented for the last month or so, I think I’ve met myself coming back about ten times.

Firstly searching for the mythical pink dolphins of the Amazon in Ecuador and then straight into launching my book. I’ve done radio interviews, been featured on journalism sites, plenty of newspapers and many a blog.

I’ve spoken at meetings, given lectures and of course continued  presenting my radio show with Gurdo as well as partaking in a few megaboozes along the way.

I’ve not released a book before so I did not realise how long it takes to get the books from the publisher so I’m grateful for everyone’s patience, the first batch went so fast and I am waiting another. Of course me being the idiot I am, I’ve lost money on all the books I had to post abroad, but I’m not going to worry about that, it is just great it is being read all over the world.

Not to mention being filmed for the forthcoming documentary Obama and Me – The Steve Zacharanda Story which is being made by Jolly Demon Productions. Who knows what it will turn out like, perhaps I should have asked for editorial control but as a journalist myself that would go against everything I believe in, so what will be will be.

I’ve been humbled by the response over the book, I worked so hard on it, for years and now to be on a bus and having people tweeting and texting me quoting lines I wrote ages ago is a wonderful feeling.

Journalists who I admire a hell of a lot but barely know me have told me they are enjoying the book as well as friends from Perry Barr who’ve known  me decades. All of which makes it worth it. Of course I need to sell more, I know that, and I’m going to have to get the message out there.

But through it all I’ve had a nagging worry, a big doubt and reoccurring nightmare – I will not be able to make it to volunteer for Obama in this most vital of elections.

I’m glad to say book sales have put me in the position to get to the starting blocks of the election race, so even though I can’t afford to go to help change the world I am going anyway.

Luckily being a travel journalist I can write about the great cities I shall be gracing, New Orleans and Miami and this will ease the financial burden, which if I’m honest will help my travel mate whose lent me the air fare too. 

So I get into New Orleans, the Big Easy, at midnight on Wednesday and then will head down to Miami on Tuesday.

So if you want to help change the world in a small way and get a great giggle packed book in the process please buy my book – after all an army always works well on a full stomach!


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