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2022 The historic day The Peaky Blinder pub made its darts league debut
Posted on the 6th Sep 2019 in the category sport
If you would have told me six months ago as summer draws to a close I'd be playing darts in deepest Blues country every Wednesday I would not have believed you. If you had told me I actually cared what happens in the Camp Hill and District Darts League I'd have called you mad. If you'd told me I actually enjoyed being in a darts team I'd not have believed you. If you the said I'd have a silly grin on my face throughout the night because an amazing woman loves me I would not have dared believe you. But life can be amazing. This is my first ever match report for the Peaky Blinders darts team.
The Dale End air hung thick with anticiptation as The Peaky Blinder were about to make their debut in the Camp Hill and District Darts League.
The ragtag band of dreamers, schemers and drinkers who had hastily agreed to take up arrows after promises of pork pies and immortality were staring defeat in the face with a smile.
They were up against the highly fancied Emerald Club who had their own named t-shirts, even brought their own fan. They spoke in a different language, of darts banter, oche one-liners and whispers of regulations and rules, where as the Peaky Blinder team were chatting about anything but rules.
Smoothie Sean, who that Sunday stunned the pub with a note-perfect version of Tennessee Whisky, was captain fantastic welcoming our guests with class and aplomb, he even got a cheer from the bloke with no tongue.
What a team Sean was in charge of that famous first night, in years to come, the shit ones might be booted to the side, the slackers might be sacked, or stars poached by the fucking Roost, but everyone on that Wednesday night will be able to say: "I was there on the first night."
Bolshy and fearless like The Dirty Dozen on acid this flight team could only be tamed by Brum's very own Lee Marvin - Sean. Neither wanting or needing his new charges the maverick major worked out what each man's motivation would be to take a dart in the face for their new comrades-in-arrows.
 The team....
Representing the 1940s was "Andy Capp" Carl who wore cap before Peaky Blinders was a TV series, he had the honour of throwing the first dart in anger. His calming 'been there done everything before' demenour helped give the Blinders a cache of competency.
Then there is Paul, who is known for being capable of drinking 200 beers in 20 minutes, before the match he was all "I'm rubbish" only to end man of the match and then revealing he used to play in the Superleague singles.
 If only we all had the enthusiasm of Graham who was at the first meeting of the Camp Hill and District Darts League on Sunday, September 18, 1978 as an eager 13-year-old. Graham, whose mom the first woman to hit a 180 in the league, was playing his first match since losing a finger eight years ago in a scrap yard accident, and who must have used the compo to pay for his Hollwood Smile.
He was up against their best player, but his talent is their for all to see. Whilst outside having a fag telling their captain he was the best marker in the league the Emerald team were complaining about him not being the best marker in the league.
Sean, who also has a darts background, gave us the first leg win of the night with an epic three darts finish which made the Emerald Club sit up and notice, the whitewash might not be on after all.
Tommahawk Tom who now holds the title for "most tattooed player" in the league was up against a bloke who boasted he used to play in a league every day of the week like that was something to be proud of.
 Despite being on the end a 180, the steel in Tom's eyes showed he will be practising a lot, he aint used to losing in life.
Then we had man mountain Andy who's hand-eye coordination was honed throwing midget Glaswegian Johnny Concretes out of social clubs in Govan. The big man brought his mrs, who cooked us cakes, with him and was happy to proclaim his love for her as the Emerald team debated tactics, he's the winner in life.
 Then there is Sensitive Steve, who thought the whole darts thing was a bit of a laugh until he went the league meeting and was surprised as anyone else when he kicked off when the Peaky Blinder, who should have been welcomed for giving a dying pub game's league a boost, was besmirched.
Delighted his rare zipping sleeved jacket would now have another use only to be told league rules demanded no jackets, he refused to practice so "not to waste his luck".
 Sensitive Steve was genuinelly hurt when both Emerald player refused to look him in the eye at the start of the doubles only to find out they did not even look each other in the eye.
Standing on the oche he realised there was more chance of him buying a double than hitting one. All that talk at the league meeting about his auntie dominating the North Wales Women's Institute League between 1986-1996 counted for nothing. But he hit the highest score so IF THERE IS ANY FUCKING JUSTICE IN THE WORLD he and Andy will be paired again (sorry Andy).
Between their "Danter" (darts banter) the Emerald team shot more concerned glances to each other than a posh couple at a traveller wedding. First there was the geezer who had tightened pubes for hair who kept on trying to walk across the game, then our marker mucking up and then the bloke with no tongue who was yelping like he was gonna get the ride after somehow chatting up a bird without being able to speak.
The Peaky Blinder lost on the night but under the watchfull eye of "I was holding my breath" Dee the night ended with promises of greatness and practice, and free food.
The first night felt like a win despite a 10-6 defeat on legs.
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